In every way. When they were not so regular, I used to be super fit and healthy, running, going to the gym, playing squash, cycling. More recently, even walking can affect my head. I don’t sleep well, every day I wake up unrefreshed wishing it was bedtime. I feel completely wiped out all the time, like having chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS). Most days I have brain fog, trouble finding words/getting them out in the right order, focusing my eyes on anything, focusing on work. I feel like I am a grape that has had every last bit of juice sucked out of me and I am shrivelled! Every day to get through work it is like crawling along in thick mud and never getting to the end. In fact, my Grandad who is aged 97 has more focus/cognitive energy than me.
I am short-fused and my tolerance towards my children and husband is very low. I just want to be a good mum but each day I am just functioning to get through rather than living. Since having my 2nd Covid jab, it got a lot worse for a period of about 2.5 months. I have just had 5 days headache free, which is the first time in a long time although they were not anywhere near ‘crystal clear’ days. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I had a day where I felt well and clear in my head/body. A lot of the time I struggle to complete sentences and often get my words in the wrong order when I am trying to have a conversation. I used to be able to articulate myself well and now find this a challenge.
I feel like I have CFS all the time (have felt like this since I was late teens after glandular fever) or a very bad hangover. I find I cannot focus my eyes. I have had my eyes tested and glasses changed multiple times but my brain fog never clears long enough to read much any more. This is a huge issue for me as I used to read at least one book a week and I love reading. I manage to force myself to read at work but it is like looking through a blur all the time. I love my job and I cannot do half of what I want to do so I am just ‘getting through’. I am tired from managing the migraine attacks and just want to live a normal life. I want to be able to exercise, muck around with my kids, be spontaneous, all the things I see other parents doing.